(hopefully the picture isn't tempting, I picked it on purpose!)
The pain of the cheat hit after I got my ice-cream sundae. I got in the car and handed Shan his little blizzard type dessert. We headed back to the hotel. We stopped at a light next to an older gentleman. He looked at me and I looked at him and smiled. He began to make the worst face possible at the mere SIGHT of me eating ice cream. He made the "YUCK" face and shook his head at me. He then proceeded to put his hand up so he couldn't see me eating. I disgusted him. My heart sank...sank very low. I was angry, hurt and thankful my husband was with me. I wanted to roll down my window and tell him, "As a matter of fact, I've lost a lot of weight this past year and a half! I think I can enjoy a treat occasionally!" I didn't. Instead I thought of how I look to so many watching. Don't judge someone else when they are eating. Don't judge someone's cart at the grocery compared to what is in yours. We all have to come to a place where we are READY to do this. I remember my time of understanding. They may sound odd but, it's what I'd call it...it's when it all clicked. It was God alone working in my heart and life to get me to this place. He used the words in the THM book to help me wake up to what I was doing to myself. He used His word to speak to me and to convict me to the core on how I was hurting the body He'd given me. HE...He did it...not me. You and I can't make anyone do this. You can love your spouse, mom, sister, brother or friends to the moon and back but, they have to make the choice to take action. In my eyes, that is God's work. We can encourage, be there, talk about the book and cheer them on but, they have to take the steps with Christ to do this. So, the guy in the car made me ponder a lot. It made me want to smile at the lady passing me in the store with a cart full of freezer meals. It made me show kindness to someone who is struggling badly with their weight and needs a cart to get around the store. People are downright cruel and you may be the only one to show kinds and compassion. Pray for God to do a work in their heart. We are all in a different place in our walk with the Lord, if we truly know Him. I have many friends who've come to THM NOT because I asked them too but, because they have watched me when I didn't know it. I would pray that God would convict them and work in their heart in the same areas that He's been working in mine in regards to gluttony. That's what it is to me and for me. Gluttony, selfishness and putting other gods on the throne that only God deserves to sit on in my heart. I see my own sin issues and can work on those with the Lord but, it doesn't mean others see them the same way. It's God's work to do. It's not my job to be the "holy spirit" in their life...it's the Holy Spirit's job. Just some thoughts through my pain. Some may wonder why this man bothered me so much. I've been teased, laughed at and made fun of for my weight since I was in junior high. Those wounds are still there. I praise God that many wounds are now scars and healing but, at times one can be ripped open to fresh emotional pain. This weekend brought that and God used it to further work in how I see others and my own need for Him. I need Him so desperately...as do you, my friend. So, what do you do after a cheat? I just get back on plan. A nice Deep S is a great choice. Two eggs cooked in butter with some sautéed veggies. A Fat Stripping Frappe' is a big winner in my book. A salad with rich leafy greens, chicken and some olive oil dressing. Drink a lot of fluids! Good Girl Moonshine is my go-to as well as good ol' water! Just get back to free styling the plan and doing what you know works. Believe me, you'll feel so much better! *My husband is doing well after surgery. 🙂 Join my on Facebook- A Home With Purpose- Jennifer Griffin
31 Responses to “Lessons From a Cheat….”
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About Jennifer
Hello there! I’m Jennifer and Welcome to my website – A Home with Purpose. My passion is sharing Christ’s Love and recipes with my Trim Healthy Mama friends. Learn more about me.
Thanks so much for this post. It really hit home. I’ve been in “You already ate the bread, so why not also enjoy dessert?” mode since June 9th, when I had a cheat meal for my husband’s birthday, followed by Dairy Queen, then an unplanned trip out of state for a funeral (no time to prepare food ahead, going through drive-thru’s), then “Well, while I’m off-plan, let’s use up this old food I bought before THM”, excuse after excuse. So, I’m seeing a trend and am getting back on the wagon today. I hope. I’ve been so run down from health issues that it has been hard to prepare all the necessary food lately (my 4th month on THM). I’d kind of like to do your challenge, but I’m not sure I’m up to 100% cheat-free. But I did it that way for my first 3 months on THM and I’d like to get back to it! Would it be okay to join and follow and be encouraged by what you all are doing and hopefully follow suit? God bless!!! 🙂
Absolutely! Join us!
The naughty girl in me wants to go find that old man and tell him a thing or two!! How awful. 🙁 I am thankful for you and I am joyful for your life, your heart for Christ and your long-term goals. xox
Thank you sweet friend. I had a hard time dealing gracefully with him. My husband knows! I’m thankful God is teaching me MUCH..even through others who are sandpaper in my life.
Beautiful, Jen, and so true!
Thank you for sharing. 🙂
<3
What a precious heart you have! Thank you for sharing. May our Father continue to bless your family. Prayers for continued healing for your husband and your scars.
Thank you so much for sharing your cheat! It sounds so much like my story. If I cheat, I seem to keep cheating for the day, and then that turns into more days! I started the THM months ago, just trying out the yummy recipes and failed! Then I completely got off for about 8 weeks eating all the forbidden foods and gaining about 12 pounds. I am paying for it now and I have regained the pounds in places I didn’t have anything before. I thought I was the only one with this problem. So refreshing to read you story and others. I am 64 so I have wasted the last few years gaining and now I must find a way to get my body healthy and happy! Your approach is so inspiring and I needed to read it today! Thanks!
You are very welcome, Brenda. Just keeping it real! You can do it!
Jennifer – from the first time I saw you post on THM I realized you are a beautiful, gracious woman. Thank you for sharing this experience with us. I am looking forward to the next 30 days.
Thank You for sharing, I have been self consensus about my weight and what people think for years, I understand the hurt, I have felt the pain. I have been on THM for going on 3 months. I have so far been able to resist the breads/ice cream by preparing ahead but if I had to go out of town as you did, I am not sure I could of resisted either! So glad your hubby is doing well! may God keep blessing you and your family. I am thankful for A Home with Purpose!
Thank you, Jennifer, for being so transparent! We have all been there! If fact, I just left there with my anniversary dinner! My dinner was pretty good on plan but the blueberry Creme brûlée definitely wasn’t!
Thanks again for leading us in our Made to Crave study. It has been so thoroughly awesome! It has changed how I think but I’m still weak and need to hide more of His Word in my heart to keep me strong.
One of the hardest things we do as Christians is wait on God, from our every need, to seeing the numbers on the scale move. His timing is perfect and we in our humanity try to “fix” things relying only on ourselves. When we rely on God, He brings us to perfection. Being an example of THM is the best witness and in God’s time we all will reach perfection in body and spirit. May your husband be healed by God’s hand. Blessings!
You are just precious! I adore how you speak from your heart Jen. As you can see we are all in this together with the same or similar story. It must be a great feeling that God is using you to inspire others. Glad your husband is doing better. I am continuing to hold you all up in prayer. God Bless 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing. I needed to read this today and am very encouraged.
I really needed to read this! Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing your heart. Thank you for all that you are willing to do for all of us who are traveling this journey. You are a blessing. You are beautiful inside and out. There are people who will never understand what it is to struggle with weight issues. They struggle with their own issues, but, they might not be as outward in nature. Shame on him for judging. So proud of the way you handled this and for what an example you are to us. We can never let fallible man be our judge only God, saver of our souls.
Jennifer, I sit here with tears streaming down my face…and I say, “Thank you!” Thank you for sharing your heart, your struggle, your scars, your open wounds. Of course, our wounds and scars are not the same, but oh how I relate! And, oh how I understand the ripping open of those scars…for scar tissue is bonded together much tighter and is therefore harder, more painful to rip open! I take comfort that I am not alone. WE are not alone! Our Savior, Yes, even He has scars…and they bear my name…and your name! Thank you! Thank you for this reminder to me today! Thank you for the tears, sweet, healing tears, flowing down my cheeks. Hugs and blessings to you!
Thank you so much for your honesty and opening your heart to us! I keep wondering myself why I don’t have the diligence and endurance to stop at one cheat. I am like you and figure I’ve already cheated so just go ahead and start over tomorrow! That isn’t the proper attitude I should have at all. I’ve been on this plan for 8 months and I keep telling myself that I should be stronger by now. It’s helpful to me to see that there are others who have been on plan longer and still struggle. Thanks for the reminder that I must go to my Father in prayer every time I feel the urge to overdue it! Thank you for showing us you are human!!
Jennifer, you have been such an encouragement and bleeding to me from the time I started following THM a little over a year ago. When I read the first part of your story I thought you were sharing the story of my date with my hubby two weeks ago. Wonderful warm bread with our meal AND praline pecan ice cream afterward. I’m so thankful for your transparency and graciousness. Blessed to be on this journey with you. Sending a big hug from SC!!
Oh my…blessing, yes blessing!!
Jennifer,
I can appreciate your honesty and sharing your feelings and the mental anguish you experienced last week and as a younger woman.
Please remember “no one can make you feel those emotions, unless you let them”
That being said, you need to hold your head high! Food does not determine our worth, a ice cream desert doesn’t ‘define’ the wonderful, creative, kind person you are. Your a wife, mother, Christian and a friend to many of us. WE are not perfect, we will never be perfect.
I have to think his reaction to you was more about himself, than you eating the ice cream, he must have un dealt with issues and choose you to take it out on. WE would never do that to another human being. THM had taught all of us, acceptace, kindness, caring and that we are human and try to make the best choices we can ask forgiveness when we slide. Say a prayer for that man! He needs it!
I’m so sorry that happened to you Jennifer! I think you are doing a phenomenal job! Seriously fantastic work here. I really enjoy your recipes and updates. It keeps me motivated and for so many others. I truly believe God brings issues at the time we were meant to deal with them. I hadn’t realized what an idol food had become until I started doing THM in April this year. I was sharing that revelation and recent victory with my husband the other night and it brought up a whole slew of unexpected negative criticism from him. He has never said anything about my weight before but given me many compliments over the years. It is hard hearing it from him that after four kids and seven years of marriage that I am no longer attractive to him and intimacy is uncomfortable because of my belly. I put on 47 pounds from the kids and lifestyle but with THM I have lost 17 in three months so I am hopeful all will come off by years end. I need to lose an additional 20 pounds after that to be a “normal” weight for my height but he’s never seen me at that. I’ve always had some extra padding. He says he wants what he wants and in summer he sees a lot of what he wants and it’s unfair that he doesn’t have it in me. He criticized my muffin in a mugs and dark chocolate and said I need to get serious about losing weight for our marriage and consider surgery which is ridiculous as I don’t have that much to lose! I am serious but from outside looking at THM with the great food we can eat I understand it doesn’t look like healthy eating. Praying for you and everyone else that we keep on trekking on the path he has laid for us at the time he convicted us. Seriously keep that head up and eyes on Him. We will have victory over this idol. I am confident!!! Hugs!!!
Dearest Tara, my heart goes out to you. This is a very old post but I just read it today. I am praying now that you have experienced much healing and that God has given you the strength and grace to forgive your husband. I am praying for your husband as well that God would work in his life to grow him up and make him what he ought to be. He is on shaky ground in front of God with his attitude. I would encourage you to continue going to God with your hurt and letting God take care of your husband as you seem to already be doing. You seem like a remarkably gentle, forgiving woman. I pray God blesses you.
Wow, I needed to hear those words on judging. And also know that many others fall just as I do and struggle again and again with that slippery path of putting food on the idol stand. Thank you for your transparency. It is a refreshing drink in this thirst world of ours.
Words full of meaning. I totally relate dear lady! I think that old man was working for the enemy. Condemnation is his tool…not conviction. So glad you could throw that attack off. You are living in the moment, and it’s really a glorious victory. <3 BTW….what is chicken bread? Love, V
You caught a mistake! Thanks! 🙂 Thanks for your sweet words.
thanks for this post, ive read it and re-read it. cheating for me is becoming more and more of a habit, since i hit goal weight :/ which is great but i dont want to un-do all my hard work! so hard to stop once you start cheating, i do better with no cheats or very rare ones. its been hard bc i have some health issues that are zapping me of energy, to bake and such. but i will try harder this week!
Thank you for sharing this post. I have been mostly off plan since May. Graduations, birthdays and any other reason I could think of to eat what I wanted has been where I’ve been camping out. I’ve gained 8 lbs but more than that, I don’t feel well. Your post made me realize that I’m not alone in my struggle. Thank you for sharing your heart! I appreciate your vulnerability. God bless you!
<3 Some seasons are hard. You can do it!