Today, I want to have a heart to heart about stereotypes and generalizations. You see I'm still what the world calls and sees as fat. People don't know my passion for health. I am often judged immediately as a "heavy" or "fat" person on first glance instead of someone getting to know me and who I am. I've been looked down on, thrown a disgusted face as I'm eating and called names since I was pretty young. It's not new to me, but still painful when it happens. I think people are truly missing out on some spectacular individuals when they don't give them a chance for what they look like. Appearances are fleeting and very often not a true picture of who someone really is. "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."Proverbs 31:30
We are heading to a wonderful conference this weekend in Kentucky. We are touring the fairly new Ark Encounter on Thursday and then the conference will be on Friday and Saturday. I will meet some Trim Healthy Mama folks for certain and hopefully spread the word about THM at our booth. Yes...a booth!
Shan decided it would be fun to have a booth to share about our upcoming 30 Day THM Family Challenge(details to come) and to just share about our website. I got some adorable little business cards and a fun banner to hang on my table. Nothing huge or fancy, but a start. I have nothing exciting to sell from us at this point. I'm thankful for a few friends who have added some items to the table so it's not bare. Why is this an issue? Why is this anxiety building in my gut? I had to sit down and write it out. Past experiences came to mind and turned into fear.
I don't fit the stereotype of a trim, healthy person by most people's standard, even much of the Christian world. Some won't even give me a chance. The Bible says in John 7:24, "Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.” Here is what the Merriam-Webster dictionary has to say when it comes to the definition of a stereotype: “to believe unfairly that all people or things with a particular characteristic are the same." I love how John Piper says it! "Implication for Christians: While realizing that life is not livable without generalizations, be careful not to let your pride lead you to use statistical generalizations in unloving ways."
This post fits for any sweeping generalization or stereotype we are tempted to make. Size, color, disabilities, gender, age...you name it! Treating others how you'd want to be treated is a great start. Matthew 7:12, “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” This isn't just important for us as we go about our day, this must be taught in our homes to our children. You truly cannot judge a book by it's cover. Having "A Home With Purpose" means so much more than eating well, right? Teaching our kids good things that are bible centered is vital.
I live THM every single day and I have for over 3 1/2 years! Even when I've had an "off" day it was still on my mind or I was still doing it in some way, shape or form. Just because I am not hitting my goal weight or shouting out another NSV or hitting 120 on the scale, doesn't mean I'm not working my tail off to live a healthy lifestyle. Some of us just don't lose like others. Some have underlying health issues going on, like me. I know many of you can relate. Let me also say that just because someone looks thin, doesn't mean they are healthy either. Many tiny or fit looking folks don't eat good foods that fuel their body! See how stereotypes are so faulty? Just love folks. Treat them like God wants you too and you will make a difference.
So, when or if you meet me, know I'm a little timid and nervous on the inside. I'm not as confident as I may come across at times. I am trying to lean on Christ and break stereotypes. I am trying to smile and shine the light of Christ, even when not always given a shot. I'm going to guess many of you can relate to that. I'm going to hug you or shake your hand and hope that you will give me just as much a chance as I pray I am giving you. I'm going to ask God to give me peace in the midst of fear of what others think of me. Confess that yucky sin and try to walk in victory because, I can!
Friends, let's bust some stereotypes that we hold in our minds and give people the unrelenting love of Christ.
95 Responses to “I Don’t Fit the Stereotype.”
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About Jennifer
Hello there! I’m Jennifer and Welcome to my website – A Home with Purpose. My passion is sharing Christ’s Love and recipes with my Trim Healthy Mama friends. Learn more about me.
You are adorable!!! Be courageous and know that you are doing everything in your power to do what you know you need to do and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. You’ve got this! Praying for you!
I love this because you just preached down my alley. Hugs!
Hugs back!
Amen! If only other people weren’t so hurtful! I pray that you will find many gracious THM’s and others at this conference. I too am traveling to the Ark Encounter in the future. Wish I was going to be there at the same time as you.
Thank you, Chris! I’m very excited to go.
Thanks Chris!! I’m excited to see the Ark!
Thank you for sharing! I pray you will have a wonderful time at the Ark Encounter, for peace as you share with others and your love for Christ shines through. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of you. You have a heart of seeking after God and that’s most important! Wish I could come and hug your neck, I’m itching to go to the Ark Encounter.
Thank you Linda!! HUGS!
Jen,
You are beautiful inside and out!! You are such a loving and giving person and truly shine the light of Christ through your words and daily actions… living not only in A Home with Purpose, but living a life filled with purpose.
Please don’t let stereotypes or misconceptions bring you down or dampen the light that shines from within you. God sees everything… the good, the bad, the hurtful and he really does have a plan for each of us.
I wish I was visiting in Kentucky while you were there so that I could come over and hug you in person, to let you know that I admire you… I admire your convictions and I care about you!! Sending prayers that this part of your journey is blessed in so very many ways.
Thank you, Miss Judy!
Hi Jennifer, thanks for your honesty and openness… I had given up to being thinner… and while I don’t even look fit… I know I am starting to see some slow (oh so slow) changes through weight lifting (besides my normal walking/running) routine… added to my already healthy eating lifestyle… It is a struggle when people immediately see me as fat… not knowing how hard I work… I love it that the people who matter most in my life know the truth… and that’s the most important thing for me… The other day Josh and I were watching a show and there was an amazingly athletic looking girl on TV and I sighed and said: “wow, she must work out a lot” … Josh didn’t even think about it and immediately said: “not as much as you do I am sure” and that … for me… MEANS THE WORLD! I work out daily, eat healthy daily, do not allow myself excuses… not even on road trips, not even… EVER! I have learned more and more about what works for me and while I don’t fit the stereotype… I, like you, don’t give up and I do know I will continue to progress… one millimeter (or less) at a time… I still have my same goals in mind… I for sure am happy I found weight lifting though… that is the only thing that has made a true difference for me… aside of clean, real clean eating. Thanks for sharing!
I need to start some weight training!! I’m very weak. MUST>
I am so excited … I truly recommend it Jen… It is life changing… The weight on the scale hasn’t changed much but in the gym I am they have special equipment to measure fat and muscle and I’ve lost about 20 pounds of pure fat and gained lots of muscle… It is simple amazing… it’s given me so much perspective as well about how much a ‘scale lies’ 🙂 Big HUGS!!!
HI Jen! I have been following your blog for about a year now. I love each and every one of your posts.
I love how you are totally yourself and totally honest in every one of your posts. You.Are.Beautiful. Outside and inside.
I too have been(and continue to be) judged by my weight. My sister is thin and when we are together I get the ‘oh you are the fat sister, and she is the thin sister’looks Ugh. I have learned over the years to let those feelings of being ‘less’ roll off my back.(or of being more-if you think about it weight wise) I am not less because of my weight. I am so much more than what I look like on the outside.
Keep up the wonderful posts! I will pray for you and your booth.
Thank you, Tammy!
I adore you. You are a Light in this world. I started reading a book two days ago called Medical Medium. I thought of you and your health struggles while reading it as I’m looking for answers as I have struggled with my own health mysteries. Hold your head high and know that God is using you to touch others.
Thank you, Kathy! So sweet to know others are thinking of me when they read something medical. So many want to come along side me. <3
Love you Jen! No matter what you weigh, you are a beautiful soul to me and always will be! Miss you!
Will I see you next month in TN?! Love you too.
Thank you I so needed to hear thank you for writing on this topic
Thank you, Wendy!
Jen, ever since I found you on the web just about three years ago I have felt a kinship to you. We are sisters, you know, in Christ. I thank you for your wise and kind words and for being transparent. I felt tears of repentance as I know I have given in to stereotyping at different times and in different ways. Thank you for your courage in pointing to truth. I admire and love you. May God continue to bless and use you. Have an awesome time in Kentucky!
Thank you Nancy! I love when my readers feel like they know me and that I am their sister! Makes me happy. Thanks for being a faithful “reader”. Tears of repentance is the biggest compliment I could get…to know God is using me.
Thanks so much for this. I, too, have an extremely hard time losing weight — my doctor accuses me of cheating on diets and being dishonest about it. It’s so discouraging. I have had Rheumatoid Arthritis and hate to limp or use my handicap parking sticker because I’m afraid people will just look at my weight as an excuse.
Aww…Miss Janet! I’m sure that arthritis is painful! My doctor’s have given me that same “look” and asking how I eat, but after time understand that there are thyroid and other issues going on. No fun sometimes!
I had a doctor tell me recently that I would need to eat 600 calories a day in order to lose weight.
WOW! So crazy!
Thank you for sharing. I SO understand this feeling of frustration surrounding not being perceived for who you truly are. …and then judgment! Phew! The judgment is heavy! Wishing you the best while you rock out your calling. God always takes our courage and uses it for His beautiful purposes.
Thanks, Nicole! <3
No wonder your server overloaded. This is a wonderful post, from so many directions. You may not fit a stereotype, but you sure are brave! God bless you, Jen.
Thank you, Donna! <3
I was always aware of the old adage “Never judge a book by its cover.” But more recently, (can’t remember where?), I read God’s word regarding not judging when someone IS beautiful as well as not. That was a first for me. So, I’ve been trying very hard to catch myself either way. Whatever it is, tattoos, piercings, the list goes on, it’s very hard to see Jesus in others. But that is the goal and it includes seeing Him in ourselves when we look in the mirror!
Food is necessary, but also addictive for many of us. We use it very often as an un-godly comfort or security. When we show evidence of this, people are uncomfortable mainly because they have a problem of their own. Or if we suffer with some kind of physical impairment non-related, people assume that we are weak. But even if we are weak, God has something to say about that.
God bless you and you are going to change hearts!
Good thoughts! God does say, when we are weak, He is strong! <3
Love you, friend!
Love you back!
I understand your journey and think your blog post is very much needed. People forget that they don’t know others’ journeys. I hope you have a wonderful booth showing and conference. Remember He’s got the plan and has always our better interests.
Thanks a bunch, Annette1
Hi – Never commented before, but I have enjoyed many of your THM contributions. 🙂 Thank you!
I just wanted to say that you are amazingly brave for writing this – and I think you are stunningly beautiful. Hats off to you for this post…
Thank you, Missy! I love that you commented too. <3
You are an inspiration! You will love the Ark Encounter and will get a lot of walking in! It is an amazing place. I am just starting THM and have a LONG way to go (the charts would say 200 pounds, I’d be over the moon with 130) Keep up the great work and know that you are loved by many, but mostly by the only one who matters!
Marlene, we did love it! Lots of walking is right! My legs were sore!! 🙂
I can relate to a lot what you have to say. I get anxiety just thinking of going to a place I haven’t been or doing something I haven’t done. I still have trouble thinking that people still see me as a fat person, etc. But one think I do know: God is there for us so who can be against us!!! Let people do what they do. It is no never mind to us. You are going to have a great time. You will love it. Enjoy!!! HUGS
Hugs to you, Terry!
You are beautiful! I enjoy reading your posts. There is so much truth, honesty and insight in your writings. And I love your recipes! 🙂 <3
Thank you, Barbara.
Jen! Meeting you today in person for the first time at the ark was the highlight of my day. And when I saw you, my immediate thought: “Oh! There’s my beautiful friend!” You do radiate and you’re amazing.
Making me cry! Thank you! I was very excited to meet you in person! It was truly a blessing to hear you speak this weekend to all those mamas. You are a wonderful encourager.
Thank you for saying what I’ve thought so many years. I’m 62 and I’ve been called fat since childhood by my own family. When I look at those pictures, I don’t know what they say because there was nothing fat about me then. I am now and have been for all of my adult life. I’ve told my husband I wish people would love me for what’s on the inside instead of seeing fat and thinking I’m not worth the time of day. I would love to meet you. We have a LOT in common. Yes I am a Very Fluffy THM and even when I get to goal(which seems out of reach at this time), I will still be a Very Fluffy THM because we KNOW how it feels and can encourage each other BEST! Bless you for getting out there.
Hugs to you, Kathy!! Hugs to you.
Bless your heart! I have experienced so many of the same put-downs as you. You are amazing and I’ve enjoyed watching your journey. As to the Ark Encounter, you will love it! We went two weeks ago and took our pastor and wife and we were all blessed! Go and enjoy and share the love of Jesus as you always do. ((Hugs))
We loved it! Thank you!
Jennifer- I remember the day I met you at Hobby Lobby in Findlay. I was so excited to meet you as you were a celebrity in my mind. You prob wondered who this crazy woman was. I was excited to meet you NOT because I thought you were the “perfect” size but because thru THM on Facebook I felt as I had gotten to know you a bit and you were such an encourager. Hold your head high, you are beautiful.
Hi Stacey! I remember that day! I had many of the same thoughts that day as I did in this post. I always seem too when I meet someone in person. Thank you for your kindness and sweet words.
As I scrolled through my feed this morning, I saw a post about Michelle Carter, the Olympic Shot Put gold medalist.
[This is part of the post (copied from “A Mighty Girl” on FB): Michelle Carter, who became the first American woman to ever win an Olympic gold medal in shot put at the Rio Olympics, has spoken out eloquently about the importance of appreciating body diversity: “You have to understand everyone’s body was built to do something. I was built to do something, and that’s how I was built. I think the world is realizing we were promoting one body type and there have always been many.”]
And then I came to your post which says much the same thing. (Only took me two days to finally get onto your page to read it!) There is a very important message here. We aren’t all size 4s — nor are we meant to be; we aren’t all made for bikinis — and face it, the beach would be better off without bikinis; and too many people are unhealthy because they strive for that image. As we age, it is inevitable that we aren’t going to have the body of our teenage years (at least, for most of us it is inevitable). I am more interested now in being healthy and how I feel than how I look in a bathing suit. (I guess at 60 I’m reaching the age where it is acceptable to say that about bathing suits any way!)
Thanks for sharing honestly. I’d love to know where this conference is.
Deb, the conference went okay! Met some great THM ladies. Thanks for those quotes, I’d not seen them yet. very good and very true!
Wow. I am so proud of you for having the strength to post this. I’m betting there are lots of us that feel this way. That no matter how hard we try to do what we know is right we just don’t see the same results as another. It’s frustrating for sure. But I know that just like truly following Gods way isn’t easy in this world, following a healthy way of life is soooo not easy in the world we live in either. But we have to keep trying! Hang in there (and I am totally talking to myself here too).
Thank you, Kristine!
You are one of the people saw when I started THM two years ago. Your love for Christ and your radiance shines through . Y.O.U are beautiful and helpful and encouraging! Thank you Jen for your honesty. People can be cruel and it’s a reminder to me to not judge, because I might be seeing that persons “one bad meal” and never see their quest for health and wholeness. I hope your booth goes well! 💕
Thank you, Andrea! It’s a great reminder for my own heart!
There is a condition called lipedema that is horribly under diagnosed in this country. I see patients in my clinic sent to me for treatment for swelling in their legs, but the problem began as lipedema that was never caught and treated appropriately. It may be worth looking into. http://fatdisorders.org/fat-disorders/lipedema-lipoedema-description
Thank you, Beverly! Someone else mentioned that to me as well. I’ll look it up.
Tears…..because this hits very close to home…in fact, it’ a direct hit:). Thanks for the encouragement and truth spoken!
Kathy, I’m thankful it encouraged you!
I was overweight/obese most of my life. Being gut level honest, I’m probably one of the worst “judgers” of overweight people, at least initially. I think it’s because I’m truly shocked when someone likes me, even though, I’m pretty likeable. I guess I judge based on how I’ve perceived I’ve been judged. I never felt acceptable by those who loved me most because of my size. I was always told, “You’re so pretty, if you’d just lose a little weight…” I guess I say that because I know how it feels all too well
I can so relate to so much of this. I was tiny growing up, and the weight started creeping on after I had my kids. It was the heyday for low fat diets, and I believe this put me on a very unhealthy path. I came to weigh–GASP!–140 lbs.!!! I thought I was obese! Then I had a hysterectomy (needed) at 38. What I didn’t expect was to wake up and learn that because of horrible endometriosis–which we had no indication I had–my ovaries had been removed. Besides being plunged headlong into surgical menopause, this did something drastic to my metabolism. I put on 40 lbs. almost immediately. I could not lose no matter what I did. I eventually got up over 200 lbs. (I’m 5’3″). Trial and error has shown me that starches are not my friend, and severely restricting them has given me some success; but falling off the wagon causes the weight to pile right back on. I am now learning that grains are also a problem for me, and I am now trying to restrict those as well. I am having some success, but it is SLOW. I need to get some weight off for blood glucose purposes; I’m sure right now I would be diagnosed Type 2 diabetic. Thank you for your transparency.
Hang in there, Bonnie! I know how hard it is. Praying you can stay the course.
To know, know, know you, is to love, love, love you.
And I do. Yes, I do. Yes, I do.
I love you just the way you are.
Forever and always,
Your THM bestie
xoxoxoxoxo
Love you too! xoxo
God bless you x
<3
Oh,Jen, I have followed you for about 3 years and would love to meet you and call you friend!! I hope this weekend was a success in your eyes and His. This was a great post.
Thank you, Lorie! I think it went okay!
Mrs. Griffin, you are gorgeous. In AND out. No matter what people tell you, always trust in God and keep in mind that he made you that way.
You are a precious girl, Jasmin! <3
Jennifer, I am so glad you shared your heart in this article! You have been a real encouragement to me every since I first read your “A Home with Purpose ” blog title! I knew that I was going to love you! I enjoy your posts and your sharing your insights. May God gives you extra peace as you meet people at the conference!
Thank you, Barbara! <3
I love your heart, honesty and see you as beautiful from the inside out!! God made you in His image and He sees you as perfect. You have been an inspiration and blessing to me in so many ways! Keep posting and sharing whatever God puts on your heart and you will bless others and God will bless you!!
Thank you, Kathy! 🙂
Thank you, Kathy!
Thanks for being an encouragement. We live in Kentucky. Will your table be at the creation museum?
Hi Diane, The event was last weekend. We were at a church called Florence Baptist Church, I think. It was a big place to hold everyone for the conference. 🙂
God bless you sweet girl. I have never read your blog before. But yes you are so right. It happens all the time and not just for weight. I know I have felt the same judgement for other reasons that I can’t explain. I do know that I have been living for the Lord and raising sweet children to love Him no matter what. I wish I could have met you at the conference! We had to cancel at the last moment because of sick children but watched it live stream. It was amazing!
Aww…it would’ve been great to meet you!! I’m sorry the kids were sick. We came home with one who had a fever on Saturday evening.
My girl! Love you sis!
Love you too!! Miss you.
I love your blog and have made so many of your THM recipes! I did want to leave a quick note. I am so so glad you are on a journey to health. I think what path you are on is much more important than where you are on that path. I do have close family that are very overweight and my kids will likely lose their beloved grandparents way too early as a direct result of unhealthy eating. They often speak as though over eating is no big deal and weight is just like hair color and its something you’re born with. There isn’t a real acknowledgement that its a sinful addiction with real consequences. I think lumping “size” in with things like gender and race, things we have no control over lends itself to that common justification for dismissing unhealthy weight as a result of unhealthy diet.
I totally agree that no one’s faults should be used against them with unloving motive! We should always support people in ways that help them, not put them down. My relatives are examples that you can struggle with a certain sinful habit but still be such a blessing to the people around you. Thanks for sharing your experience!
Thank you, Gracie! <3
LOVE THIS POST!
Thanks, Laura!
This piece is beautiful (as are you). Thank you for sharing.
Hi there, Jen. I found your site during my three year stint following the THM diet. I learned a lot about nutrition, but about six month ago, realized that it was contributing to my life-time of disordered eating. I am fighting hard to learn how to eat normally, free from rules (even E and S) and getting out of the on-plan, cheat, binge cycle. On this journey of recovery, I’m learning much about the ‘Health at any size’ movement. It teaches and celebrates what you’re talking about here. Weight is just a number and it is only a tiny, bitty indicator of our whole health. I just wanted to say that you are okay, just as you, and that you can pursue ‘health’ at any size. I imagine it easy to forget that when heavily involved in a group with the word ‘trim’ in it. I trust you hear my heart. ~Humbly, Tracy
Thanks for your thoughts, Tracy! <3
Beautiful! Thank you for all you do to help others on their journey.
I have tried EVERY DIET there is! Nothing worked until I decided to try the very last diet available to me… the ketogenic diet. From the very first week I started losing weight… without counting calories and without going hungry. The first few weeks, I lost 21 pounds without even trying and eventually I lost over 80 pounds. Now I’m down to a trim 135 pounds and I love the ketogenic diet so much that I plan to stay on it forever because it gives me plenty of nutrients, lots of fats (which is very satiating), and I never get hungry. I don’t have to “watch what I eat” because I like everything on the diet and since I never liked sweet things, I don’t miss the sweets at all. What a glorious “diet” from God! Keep up the faith, Jennifer… you are a lovely person. May God truly bless you and your family.
Thank you for your sweet words!